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Introduction
Nobody ever said life would be easy, did they? But they didn’t say it was going to be filled with chaos either!!!! Somebody could have warned us. I’m guessing if you have gotten past the title page you either already know you do too much or someone that loves you would like you to get life into perspective. I feel your pain. That’s not to say I’ve experienced what particular event you are going through right now but I have been in enough of them to know intimately the feelings of chaos, hurt, pain, frustration, fear, anxiety, sadness, and confusion. The good news is I have also had the amazing opportunity to also experience the feelings of happiness, elation, appreciation, thankfulness, joy, and peace. I would go through all the negative feelings a hundred times over to experience the positive.
Let me tell you a little about what prompted me and qualifies me to write this book. Like many of my readers, my life has been far from easy (as a matter of fact another book is in the works about that life). As a child, I never spent more than a year at any school until my sophomore year of high school (no, we weren’t in the military – just had an adventurous mother). I supported myself through my senior year of high school. My parents died ten months apart when I was 18. Since that time I have experienced being an unwed mother, loving someone with an addiction, marriage, divorce, losing loved ones to chronic illness, unexpected accidents, and plain old age. I obtained both my Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees while working full time, being a single parent for much of it, and raising two wonderful children.
I have also experienced unconditional love, passion, thankfulness, an amazing drive for success, determination, forgiveness; will beyond my comprehension, and people in my life that I know were personally put there by God. I have been protected, forgiven, and blessed beyond belief.
This book was a result of years of my own focus in the wrong direction. I am guilty of being an overachieving woman, a classic type A personality. My career has always been my life – it came before my husband, my family, and my God. In my mind it was the only way out of the poverty life I was destined to live. I worked hard and rarely played. Everything I did was at maximum speed and maximum effort. It was always all or nothing with me. Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t given up on hard work and determination; I just have a little better balance now.
I looked at my children one day and they were almost grown. All of sudden my “baby” was 5’11” and looking me straight in the eye (he has since grown to an amazing 6’4” and still growing). I wondered what happened – how had I missed so much of their lives? How had I given so much to employers and so little to my own family? How had I missed so many sunrises and sunsets and conversations with those I valued most? Almost simultaneously, the company I was working for was downsizing. My job wasn’t in jeopardy – as a matter of fact I was promoted. However, I watched thousands of employees leave the company. I watched employees leave that had given the best 30 years of their life to the company. Although I don’t disagree with how the company handled this necessary downsizing, I became painfully aware that it really all came down to business and it didn’t matter how good an employee was or how much of their life they had devoted, it was all about business, politics, and what was best for the company. I realized that I, like many others had given 12-14 hours a day to a company and when it was all said and done, I was as vulnerable as the next person.
That’s when I knew it was time to make some changes. I knew I was a hard worker – there was no doubt about that. I thought to myself, “If I worked half as hard for myself as I do for my employer, how could I not succeed?” So, I left my job and started my own consulting business that provides training solutions to organizations (both large and small). I put myself in a situation where I had no choice but to succeed – I was a single mom with two kids and I wouldn’t let them down.
When I have worked for other companies I have had no balance. When I am passionate about what I am doing I give it my all – and I am passionate about helping others to be more successful in their work. Although I went through the motions of being a good mom (went to all the necessary meetings, carted the kids to the appropriate events, made sure their clothes were clean and lunches made) my passion was my work. It was easier for me to succeed in that area – I knew what I was doing. When it came to relationships I wasn’t so confident or successful.
Through the grace of God I have been able to make significant changes in my life. I now take my 6’4” “baby” to school and pick him up most days (his dad is equally active in his life). My oldest is finishing Massage Therapy School. I start most days on my porch with Bible reading and a prayer and I end it with interaction with my kids. I still work hard but I’m no longer too tired, busy, frustrated or overwhelmed to enjoy the ten minute conversations, the Kansas sunrises, or a good novel. I gave up a lot to get where I am today – mostly many years of my family. I knew I wasn’t alone and wanted to help other women put their lives into perspective before they missed out on too much.
I hope you enjoy this book. Don’t let the urgent get in the way of what is really important.
Mari
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